UNDERSTANDING POST-TRAUMATIC GROWTH
BY BEQUI LIVINGSTON
Have you ever experienced a time when you didn’t think things would ever change, that your pain would never end – losing a loved one, or being involved in a challenging wildfire incident – events that shake you to the core? You can’t seem to find your way out, until you do. I love the quote from Jurassic Park, that sums it up so well, “Life always finds a way.”
One of the challenging aspects of dealing with traumatic stress and grief is that you never feel as though it will end, especially when it’s chronic and cumulative. You live in a continuous cascade of stress hormones, keeping you stuck in a state of survival stress; it can feel like an endless abyss at the bottom of the ocean where no light is visible, and you feel as though your life will always be this way.
For many of us, especially those who endured adverse childhood experiences, this abyss can seem darker because it normalizes what life was like growing up – all these emotions and memories that have been stored in our nervous systems and bodies for years, waiting for us to have the wherewithal to feel them. And when we do – WHAM – it’s like that last Jenga block being pulled from our foundation, as we crumple to the ground in a clump of messy ash, this firestorm of emotions and feelings catching us off guard, coming with such a vengeance that we don’t think we will ever find our way out. We’re plummeted, time and time again, into this abyss of traumatic stress and complicated grief, our Jenga block foundation no longer intact.
Smokey Bear is my definition of resilience and post-traumatic growth, moving forward to be the emblem for wildland fire prevention while living a healthy, and productive life.
Equate this to being on a wildfire, where our headlamps show us the way forward in the dark; when they don’t work, we rely on our comrades shining their headlamps, helping us find the path. It’s the same when dealing with traumatic stress and grief; even though our headlamp may not be working properly, and all we can see is the abyss, we rely on others to support us, to walk alongside us, until our headlamp works again. Through this foraging on the dark path, we begin to slowly move forward, and backward, an oscillating dance of healing and recovery that is so common among wildland firefighters.
Yet it’s this dance that propels us forward, even when it seems pointless. It’s this dance that keeps us looking for the headlamps, even on the darkest nights. And it’s this dance of resilience that eventually brings us to a place of post-traumatic growth and healing.
In her book The Post Traumatic Growth Handbook, Dr. Arielle Schwartz says, “You have the capacity to be resilient and courageous in the face of difficult life events. You can cultivate a meaningful, purposeful life.”
Learning more about post-traumatic growth helps to understand how it applies to adversity in the field of wildland fire. Post-traumatic growth refers to the creation or development of positive changes in individuals after they’ve experienced highly stressful life events. In wildland fire fighting, every incident is a stressful life event. We see destruction by Earth’s fury, yet, Mother Nature always bounces back with so much resilience, and post-traumatic growth. For a minute, maybe you can recall a catastrophic wildfire event that you experienced? Remember how nature bounced back with amazing resilience and post-traumatic growth. “Life always finds a way.”
I often think of Smokey Bear when I’m searching for meaning in my pain. Smokey was a young, injured, and orphaned cub found clutching a tree during a large wildfire in the Capitan Mountains in southern New Mexico. His mother had been killed by the wildfire, leaving him to fend for himself until he was rescued by fire crews. Smokey Bear is my definition of resilience and post-traumatic growth, moving forward to be the emblem for wildland fire prevention while living a healthy, and productive life. I have pictures of young Smokey as an injured and orphaned cub sitting on the wing of the small plane that would eventually carry him to safety, ending up in the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Those photos are reminders that post-traumatic growth and resilience are always possible after traumatic life events. Smokey Bear is the emblem of post-traumatic growth in our wildland world, and how timely, with Smokey Bear’s 80th birthday coming up on Aug. 9.
Post-traumatic growth and resilience have similarities but are different. Resilience is the process of adapting in the face of challenging events, whereas post-traumatic growth refers to the positive changes that occur because of challenging events. With post-traumatic growth, we change; our lives, beliefs, values, and relationships tend to deepen, with more authenticity and sincerity. It’s the process of healing through our traumatic stress and grief that we become who we were always meant to be. Like Smokey tell us, “Only YOU!”
Only you can remember that resilience and posttraumatic growth will continue as you unwind and unravel your traumatic stress and grief. Only you can find the healing modalities and people to shine their headlamps on our path as you heal. Only you can be reminded that there is always hope in our healing through post-traumatic growth. Only you can be you. Smokey Bear reminds us of that.
One opportunity that might be of interest is a women’s healing retreat for first responders April 18-21 at Healing Americas Heroes in southern New Mexico. This is a great opportunity to practice selfcare and post-traumatic growth while learning tips and tools that will help to become more resilient. Space is limited and more information can be found at https://bodysensewellness.org/finding-calm-inchaos/healing-retreats.
Bequi Livingston was the first woman recruited by the New Mexico-based Smokey Bear Hotshots for its elite wildland firefighting crew. She was the Regional Fire Operations Health and Safety Specialty for the U.S. Forest Service in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Contact her at [email protected]
